A Prayer For Loss
“Ambiguous losses are a particular type of loss that lack definition and lack closure . . .
hope lingers on, and it’s really hard to live in hope that is not met . . .
Humans don’t do uncertainty well.”
– Kelly Maxwell Haer, PhD.*
Similar to this moment in history, I grew up during the unsettled fifties, sixties and early seventies during years of nuclear threat, self-interested political leadership, ongoing war, social unrest, and the early years of environmental warnings. Within my own family, the silent unraveling of my parents’ marriage in my teen years, and my father’s sudden suicide when I was nineteen left me with an indelible sense of ‘Terrible Things Always Happen.’
Terrible things are always happening, yet incredibly powerful life-affirming, humane, and creative endeavors occur every day alongside the traumas and uncertainties—the ambiguous losses that seem to be piling up around us at an unprecedented pace —losses that have birthed this poem-prayer:
Things go missing
to accept with grace
these disappearances
our greatest
most humbling
and sacred work
Grace not apparent
in the midst of all
that is dissolving
only our greatest
most fearsome fears
at our side
Grieving is breath
grieve hard
laughter is food
laugh hard
our greatest kindness
constant at our side
To nurture the pulse
of trembling resolve
in all that lives
our greatest
most uncertain
and sacred work.
Painting title: “Away.” Artist: Rae Miller. www.raemiller.com
*Quote from www.oprah.com/sp/new-midlife-crisis.html
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Calming Practice: Holding Loss
Consider this haiku while holding your own particular losses
in your heart and mind:
One last rose blooming
despite autumn's wild winds while
sunlight warms its leaves
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